(no subject)

[emmazunz]

We are all wasting our time. Isn't that sad? The word "isn't" looked very strange when I just typed it. I wonder if English is the only language that has contractions like that. I love weird language trivia; I'm such a nerd. I haven't done anything productive today...but I guess it all comes down to what is actually productive. I have a bad attitude, sure, but studying is really just as unproductive as sitting in front of a computer doing nothing, isn't it? What I think is productive is doing things that benefit you. Like if I were to sit at the piano playing waltzes and working on my sight-reading for hours...or writing...or reading articles on different languages on Wikipedia...or reading my Dutch grammar book or anything at all, that would be productive. At the end of the day I would feel accomplished. Maybe at the end of a day of studying I would feel like a good person, like I'd gotten something done, but that would soon fade. It wouldn't stick with me for life, nor would it be really important to me. This year life has seemed so terribly depressing. All you ever do is useless work. I don't really miss being younger, but sometimes I see the road stretching out in front of me and wish desperately that I could run back. I don't want to go to college, I'm not ready to end this era of my life at all, and as more and more people keep talking about how excited they are to get away from their family and go to college so they can be grown-up and get wasted every day I just want to shrink and shrink until people can't find me.



I was going to get rid of the mood theme on my journal, but then I looked at the "sore" face and it absolutely broke my heart and I decided to leave the kitties where they were. That cat is cuter than it has any right to be.